Angry Black Woman
By Assiatou D
“Why are you always so damn angry.”
“You are too mean.”
“You need to change the tone of your voice.”
Every second of my life growing up, I was told these things. I was always being told how I needed to sound, what I needed to do or say in order to just be respected and be treated like a human being. I was criticized on every little detail of my life to make sure I was pleasing other people. I was doing everything in my power to not be seen as the angry Black girl, because for some reason these angry Black girls do not deserve respect. They do not deserve to have their voice listened to. They are not important, and you need to avoid being perceived as that.
But I am angry. I am angry that every time a cop murders a Black woman in cold blood, they never get punished. I am angry that Black women are expected to bend over backwards to help comfort everyone else. I am angry that Black women carry around the baggage of being seen as the Strong Black woman. I am angry that the media takes every chance it gets to tear down any Black woman without fear of consequences. I am angry that one in four Black girls will be sexually abused before the age of 18. Or that for every Black woman who reports rape, at least fifteen Black women do not report. I am angry that despite all the times I call out racism among the staff and faculty at school, nothing got done. I am angry that Black women break their backs every day for a country that has not given a damn about our lives or bodies since the creation of this country. I am angry that Black women are always the center of the jokes. I am angry that everyone wants to pick and choose what to take from Black culture--whether it is our Ebonics or our bigger lips--without wanting to actually be Black. I am angry that it is so easy for someone to post once a month about my life mattering on social media, but will not open their pockets to Black women. I am angry that people always expect me to educate them on why this is racist or that is racist or if they should post this or if they should donate here. I am angry that I am expected to become an activist for every other group, but when it is time to talk about Black women, that group is suddenly silent.
I am angry. However, even with all this anger I would not want to be anything other than a Black woman.
Black women share the universal experience of being a Black woman and that is something I find incredibly fascinating. Being a Black woman puts me in a community where I feel safe to talk about issues specific to Black women without fear of being pushed off to the side and without fear that my voice will not matter. And for everything I am angry about, there are a million reasons why I love who I am. I love how we have people like Angela Davis, Audre Lorde, and the Combahee River Collective--all of whom wrote on the experiences and impact that Black women had/have. We have people like Megan Thee Stallion and Beyoncé who use their eroticism and embrace their bodies when, for so long Black women didn’t have full control over or ownership of their bodies. I love the fact that we have young women like Laysie B (Tiktok @laysieeeb), Maombi Zawadi (Tiktok @Beelcher), and Promise Elisa (Tiktok @Promise_elisa) who spread awareness about many issues while still talking about their as experiences as Black women. I love that I feel comfortable calling people out on their bigotry without worrying about being perceived as an angry Black woman because I am angry. I have a right to be. That anger is okay because I will continue to use it to embrace my Blackness and to actively fight for the liberation of all Black women.